Can someone help me please I don't know what to do anymore?

I have no ambition to do anything my life is going no where and every attempt I try to make things better just makes things worse. Im ready to kill myself because: I have no job(between my depression no ambition and lower back problems work just isnt happening) im full of anxiety. im broke and I cant get enough money from welfare to eat and pay rent. I need councelling but cant afford it. I have a constant pain/discomfort because of my back. My family doesnt really talk to me b/c I smoke weed which helps with my back and depression I can actually smile and joke about things after smoking a joint instead of being the quiet depressed guy. I think my girlfriend is ready to leave me because Im constantly frusterated with everything my life is going no where and I dont really care about anything anymore. Ive got no self esteem and Ive tried and tried to make things better but it ALWAYS backfires. I need some kind of advice what to do with my life because im ready to say f*ck life and kill myself. I need somebody to talk to about everything or im helpless cuz I cant figure it out on my own ive tried